


The Small Librarian

by MessintoMessages



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mention of Death, firefighter johnny, librarian taeil, light fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 12:28:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19019938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MessintoMessages/pseuds/MessintoMessages
Summary: Johnny loved being there for others, but sometimes he needed someone to look after him.Alternatively:After particularly stressful days at work, the only thing keeping Johnny together is getting to come home to is his favorite person.





	The Small Librarian

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve written Johnil before, but I wanted to try it out with a different dynamic this time around! Hope you enjoy :)
> 
> Disclaimer: I woke up this morning wanting to post something so I wrote this all today pls don't bully me if it sucks :(

Johnny loved being the responsible one. The one in which other people could lean on, someone who others came to for help or guidance. It was just something he had always been good at, always enjoyed doing. It was most likely what lead him into this profession after all.

Johnny was a firefighter and a hell of a good one at that.

Most days consisted of waiting around for something to happen. Johnny was thankful for uneventful days like those. Even though his job centered around saving people, he would rather people not be in danger at all.

Although, his favorite days were when they would get nonemergency calls. They got to get out of the station and were able to aid someone, but no one was in immediate danger.

However, the most rewarding days on the job were ones when there was a fire or a car accident in which they were able to help everyone involved get out safe. Johnny was given the opportunity to save lives, and the days that he was a key player in doing that felt like he found his calling in life.

That’s not to say there weren’t bad days too. Days where he wouldn’t be able to save everyone. On the surface he knew days like these were inevitable, sometimes circumstance doesn’t let that happen. And yet it tore him to pieces anyway.

He thought after a while he would be desensitized, or at the very least be able to cope better. And yet he didn’t. He just felt worse, guilt built upon what was already there. It got so bad he thought he may have to quit the only thing he knew how to do.

That is until one of his coworkers suggested getting a roommate.

Every day Johnny was going home to an empty apartment. As soon as he clocked out of work, he was alone. Alone in his head. No longer distracted by the people that had surrounded him while he was at work.

That’s when he met Taeil.

He didn’t think that he would find a roommate so soon as his requests were on the strange side. The point of him getting a roommate was so he would have someone to come home to. Which even to Johnny sounded a bit weird. He wasn’t sure any potential roommate would want that kind of baggage attached to the deal.

And yet only two weeks after he posted the ad, a small librarian was moving in with him.

***

Taeil was very quiet. Almost too quiet. Which Johnny supposed made sense considering his occupation. And even yet just barely a week into living together and they had only said approximately five words to each other.

Some of that Johnny knew was his own fault. He had been working long and awkward hours that week, and most of his home time was occupied with sleeping.

And yet the number of words shared between the two didn’t seem to matter when Johnny came home very late one night.

There had been a terrible fire in an apartment complex that just didn’t seem to want to be put out. It had started early in the evening and had lasted late into the night. By the end of it, the building was hardly standing. Everyone who had lived there had lost everything. And some people had even lost their families.

Johnny was good at keeping it together when he was doing his job. That was the only reason he still had one. But once they got back to the station to wash up before going home, it all hit him at full force.

He wasn’t sure how he ended up back at his apartment, everything from showering at the fire department until where he was now, standing in his living room, was a blur.

Taeil abruptly standing up snapped him out of the daze.

The TV was on, broadcasting the very fire he had just put out.

Taeil was quick to switch it off after seeing the look it brought his roommate's face.

The newfound silence brought Johnny’s attention back to Taeil. Why was he still up? It now had to be the early hours of the morning. Didn’t he work the next day?

Before Johnny could react, he felt Taeil’s arms hug gently around his body.

Maybe it should have been strange for the roommate he just met only a few days ago to be hugging him like this. But, something about it felt like it was exactly what Johnny had been needing.

His arms, before loosely hanging at his side, now found their way around Taeil’s small waist as his head fell down to his shoulder.

No words were exchanged. But no words needed to be.

As Taeil squeezed him tighter Johnny knew from that moment on his safety would be found at home, in the shape of a small librarian.

***

Neither of them talked about the happenings of the night of the fire. But that didn’t mean they did not talk at all.

Johnny had a few days off, so he used them to take the opportunity to get to know Taeil a little better.

He had grown up as an only child, father a successful CEO and mother an art critic, so he spent a lot of his childhood by himself.

When it was time for him to choose his career path he deviated from his parent’s wishes and decided on a quiet and easy life. Drastically different from what he had grown up with. But he was happy with his decision, even if his parents weren’t.

Johnny had also grown up an only child, except he had very loving and present parents. It was hard for him to relate to Taeil’s backstory, but it helped Johnny understand why Taeil was the person he had become.

Ultimately Johnny was thankful that regardless of his upbringing, Taeil was still companionate and clearly cared for himself as well as others. He was happy to see Taeil persevere through and still come out a beautiful soul.

On top of that, he was a kind and respectful roommate, and at the end of it, all that’s all Johnny could really ask for.

But somehow, he ended up with so much more.

It had been over a month since the last bad incident at work when Johnny found himself back in udder chaos.

He had done his best, they all had. It was clear that everyone did what they could and that everything else was out of their control.

But that didn’t stop Johnny from feeling like he could have done more.

He rested his head on the door to his apartment, recalling the events that had just gone down.

A car fire after a pileup.

He sighed before unlocking the door.

He was met for the second time with Taeil sitting nervously on the sofa watching the news.

"If you’re late coming home I turn on the news," Taeil said softly after Johnny had walked in clearly confused to see Taeil awake like this again. Johnny could not but notice the worry lacing his voice.

He just nodded too exhausted to process the intent behind Taeil’s words.

"I’ll always be here. Waiting for you to come home," Taeil further explained.

"Come here," he finally said after Johnny was unmoving.

Relief flooded through Johnny as he once again felt the warmth of the smaller’s embrace.

"Thank you," Johnny’s words were muffled by Taeil shirt, but he was certain the message got across when he felt Taeil hold him tighter.

Johnny finally had someone to come home to. His small librarian.  

***

The bad days were still hard but knowing Taeil would be up waiting for him when he finally made it back home made them worlds easier.

The baggage that he carried with him from work dissolved as soon as he fell into Taeil’s hold.

Even on days that weren’t stressful, seeing Taeil mossy around the kitchen or reading on the sofa gave Johnny the feeling of being secure. A feeling he didn’t know he was missing.

He began to worry that he wasn’t doing enough for Taeil. He had practically turned Johnny’s life around and all Johnny felt like he was doing was taking from him, never giving. He wanted to do something for Taeil in return.

Johnny ended up voicing his concerns over dinner one evening. But was met with an answer he was not expecting.

"Just come home safe. That’s enough."

"But- but I-" Johnny started, taken aback from his simple but heavy answer.

Taeil met his eyes with a warm smile, placing a hand on his to stop him from continuing. "You don’t know what letting me into your life has done for me, Johnny. I’ve been alone my entire life, first by circumstance but then by choice. I never thought I wanted, or rather _needed_ , to rely on someone else. But that’s not living. Or at least not for me. I knew from the moment I met you that we were exactly what each other needed. I’m so much happier being here with you, looking after you. Please don’t feel like you’re not doing enough."

Johnny felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

He never expected his life to change forever because he decided to look for a roommate. But there he was, sitting across from the small librarian who needed him just as much as he needed them.

***

Disappointment filled his chest when he got home and Taeil wasn’t sitting on the sofa waiting for him.

He shouldn’t have been disappointed though. He knew he would be coming home late because of a training exercise so he told Taeil to sleep first.

But he didn’t think one of his coworkers would have gotten hurt.

He blinked back tears as he stood in the living room like he was stuck there. It didn’t feel right. He couldn’t bring himself to go straight to bed.

It wasn’t his fault, he repeated over and over in his head because that’s what everyone had told him. It was trying to make himself believe that which was hard.

He sighed as the first hot tear ran down his cheek. Hands came up to cover his eyes as if to somehow stop the rest them from falling.

"It’s okay," he said aloud to himself, "you’re not alone."

He did his best to swallow the lump in his throat and proceeded to lightly knock on Taeil’s door. After a moment or two of no response, he took a deep breath and cracked the door slightly open.

Taeil was fast asleep, tangled up within his covers.

"Taeil," Johnny whispered voice cracking.

Taeil quickly sat up, clearly confused as what was going on. Worry suddenly etched itself onto his face, visible even in the darkness of the room, as his eyes adjusted to see the state Johnny was in.

"Oh Johnny, come here," Taeil said voice raspy from sleep, arms reaching out towards the younger.

"I don’t- I don’t think I can do it anymore," Johnny said as he buried himself into the crook of Taeil’s neck.

Taeil gently carded his hands through Johnny’s hair after pulling the blanket up over them.

"That’s okay," Taeil responded, "There are other ways you can help people Johnny. It’s okay to give yourself a break."

Taeil never asked what happened, he never pressed Johnny to speak up. And yet his silence always left room for Johnny to open up whenever he felt comfortable.

But not now. He couldn’t talk about what happened yet. All he wanted to do was stay exactly where he was. His arms wrapped around the only person who mattered at that moment.

The small librarian didn’t stop running his hands through Johnny’s hair until he was certain he had fallen asleep.

***

After opening up to Taeil about what had happened the night before, he ultimately decided to take a mental health break from work for a while, to decide if this was really something he could handle.

He still worked though, mostly only reporting to nonemergency calls. They also sent him into schools, along with other community events, to help give safety demonstrations, which were honestly the highlight of his time away from the action.

Taeil also suggested a volunteering opportunity at the library he worked at where he got to read to kids every Saturday. It filled some of his free time and surprisingly helped him heal as well.

Finally, he was feeling a bit lighter, a bit more like himself.

However, the nights with Taeil only got more frequent.

At first, he told himself it was because of the guilt and disappointment he felt from practically quitting his job. But then he kept finding himself tangled between Taeil’s legs even on his happiest of days.

He worried it bothered Taeil. He worried he was being too clingy. After all, technically they were just roommates.

Johnny decided it was best to take a step back. He needed to honestly talk with Taeil before it went too far and things were regretted.  

However, he wasn’t prepared to have the conversation so soon.

"Why don’t you spend the nights with me anymore?" Taeil innocently asked after Johnny had slept in his own bed for almost a week. "Are you feeling better?"

"I think I’m ready to go back," Johnny said, partially dodging the question. "I want to give it one last shot. They offered me a relocation out of the city, it’s in a quieter area," he elaborated.

Taeil gave him an encouraging smile, "That’s great Johnny, I’m so happy for you. You know I will always support you in whatever you decide to do."

"Also," Johnny added suddenly, "I don’t want you to be my roommate anymore."

Taeil froze, the most hurt look Johnny had ever seen him have flashed over his face before it was replaced by a sad smile.

Johnny’s heart rate rose in his chest. "It’s not because I’m moving jobs, the other fire department is only a 20-minute drive from here. And I don’t want you to move out either..."

"What is it then?" Taeil pressed, clearly confused.

Johnny paused before finally saying what had been on his minds for months, "I like you a lot Taeil, I think I might even love you. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to make it here if it wasn’t for you. And maybe things didn’t work out how I wanted them to. But that’s okay because you were by my side. And I don’t want that to change. I want to be more than roommates… is what I’m saying."

It had been bothering him since the first time Taeil waited up for him. They never claimed to be anything more than what they were, and yet they were so much more than roommates from the very beginning. Maybe they were two people destined to find each other, and maybe that was something both of them knew from the very beginning.

Relief washed over Taeil’s face as he reached out for Johnny once again. "In that case, I don’t want to be your roommate either."

Taeil gently pressed his lips to Johnny’s, hands coming up to link around his neck. He hadn’t realized it until then, but he had waited a lifetime for this very moment.

And maybe Johnny knew all along that Taeil was always much more than the small librarian who answered his ad.

**Author's Note:**

> [Curious Cat](https://curiouscat.me/kennaloveskpop?t=1548037588)   
>  [Twitter](https://twitter.com/kennaloveskpop?lang=en)


End file.
